Look up to the stars

No matter what, we are never alone.

I used to think that we are, that we’re just specks of sand in the entire Universe but that’s also true. There are still other specks of sand watching out for us. Together we can make clumps of sand, which together can make a beautiful sand castle that withstands the ocean waves. Because of Gianni, there were changes made in my life and I couldn’t be happier, freer. That’s what I’m always going to have to remember, to always have fun adventures. There are things we won’t understand, right away, but in the course of time they lead to things that are meant to be.

Don’t worry, I will take care of her. That’s what friends are for, right? I know you will worry anyway, but she is going to turn out great. I see so much of you in her already, so she has that. She won’t only look up to the stars, I’ll make sure she reaches the stars.

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Yesterday and today was one of the hardest times in my 22 years of life, but it made me stronger. Normally I wouldn’t talk about this, but I want people to know. I just filed a report against someone I thought was my friend for sexual assault. More details to come later, I just wanted to say this: help others in ways you can’t help yourself because people step up when there is a need. But that need needs to be communicated. Keeping it a secret for two years was just absurd, but I know there are many others who are in the same shoes and I want to say this to all of you, if you’re reading this: I love you and you deserve so much more.

That’s more than enough for me right now, so kthxbai.

Life’s Walk

‘Where did there live a man who was never in his life without sustenance? What human being has ever seen as the years pass his hopes, plans, and dreams completely undestroyed? When was there ever a soul that never had to deduct a discount from the sum total of its bold longings, its lofty, sweet imaginings of happiness?’ Robert Walser, The Walk

When dreams are destroyed, the ashes are only going to be a new foundation for other dreams to root in and grow from. Paths in life are not always planned and knowing this is a relief, teeming towards so much uncertainty. I just hope I can find a job and get along with my life plans, but every day of worrying is one less day of life; so starting tomorrow I’m going to laugh at least one little thing every day. And you should, too.

The first impression

First post here. Hi guys. Or rather, hi to myself as I’m currently the only one that knows of this freshly made blog.

In a couple weeks I graduate college. It hasn’t hit me yet, except for the parts about worrying whether or not I’ll be able to find a job and settle on a career somewhere in the future. Anxiety floods over me nearly daily, and every insignificant deed becomes an arduous task to complete. It’s times like these that I need to remind myself that life is the one constant opponent, we must fight to continue to live. But, we struggle to live because we enjoy living; it takes strength to enjoy life.

Maybe after some time I’ll sit down once again and type more, but right now too many things still are running through my mind. It’s a comfort to just sit and shit out a few sentences that barely make any sense together right now. Thoughts and memories have been running through my mind the past month, and it makes it hard to focus. With time they’ll settle down like dust and I can sift through the dust bunnies and finally pick them out one by one. Sometimes I really wish I could make a living as a writer, but that’s not something reliable. Ah, screw having a stable life, it’s still going to be a life… maybe.